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March 2010
Saturday, March 7, 2009, 11:50 PM
It really matters
Just finished quarreling with Mom. Quarreling? I doubt it's a correct word for it. Should I believe everything is over? Or I should tell myself " The fee is really settle"? Should i be happy with it? Or rather I must be happy or overjoy that she is willing to pay the fee for me? Just because after a big fight? I dont really think I can treat it as "Nothing had happened". In fact, something really happened. I dont like this feeling. Yes, I understand I shouldn't compare my situation with others but just why? Human instinct, should this be the correct term for it? Always like to compare? What if she didnt fought out she has a sum enough for it, she will still bring this matter up again, forcing me to choose the way which I dont like it? So what if 2 persons is connect because they are having the same type of blood or DNA in their body? Money it's the reality fact that easily clearly tore them apart. Or maybe I'm asking too much? Yup, compare with them other than the eldest, I'm asking too much. If anyone is wondering what am I asking, it's the 1st semaster's school fee. She is really being noble by agreeing to pay for me, after rounds of quarrels. Or rather should I sign her a recript for the loan to make her feels more safe that I will pay her back? Afterall to be me, maybe my heart really not that big because something really did happened, no matter how much i really f-ing love or care for you. I hate it and the frequency of money matters that will cause family members to fall out their relationship is getting on my nerve. 人性的丑陋确实让我反胃.To: KL
I promise we willnt be drifting apart. I may sounded nothing to chat with you on the phone today while you're listening to the music, it was because I'm msn-ing with shihan. Ps, I'm being distracted. Towards the differ in our goals and opinions, I bet we should accept each others. I know I'm being fierce and straight forward at times but frankly speaking I really dont have any bad intentions. In fact, you know, I'm fierce. I will try to change it but being fierce, it's me. Today I'm F-ing Unhappy and Upset.
Labels: F-ing Unhappy